My participation has changed dramiaticlly over the years. For a time I served on church boards. I am outspoken and challanged them when complaints were made about the clergy not doing his complete job. If there are complaints where are the consequences? Job reviews were watered down and the clergy was allowed to do as he pleased. (or felt called). Being on the leadership team I suggested we pay him a part time wage for a part time job. We needed to hire some one to do the other stuff. The complainers took his side and I was alienated. Finally others saw a bigger picture of problems and he eventually left.

I was stunned that the very mention of accountablility at church would cause people to run and hide. If a pastor can’t tend to his flock-doesn’t this beg the question of where is his calling and his relationship with his Lord? Why is it hard for anyone to question a pastor’s credibility and call to ministry.

As a former clergy wife I saw and still see the crap people let their pastors get away with just because that person has a calling.

There isn’t just one issue with organized religion. But total dependence on any leadership style negates personal spiritual development.

I had to go to AA and Alanon to really understand my need for spiritual development and my responsibility to nuture it. I was born again in college through the experience of Inter-Varsity Christian fellowship. Fueled by the charastimatic movement and haven’t stopped experiencing the power of the Spirit, compassion of God’s mercy and the loving presence of Jesus.

I appreciate your writing project and hope it leads to addressing the need for balance in all ways men and women use/abuse the power of the cross.

I am a number 2. I don’t know if Jim is still doing this research but I thought I’d share a little bit.

I grew up as a child believing in God…and until I was 16 when I became ‘born again’ I believed in Him the only way a hurting child from a dysfunctional home could.

As a child I knew nothing of church or the bible for that matter, only that I loved God and I wrote Him letters telling Him my troubles and heartaches.

When I was 16 I was told that I needed to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior in order to get to heaven…so blindly I followed, frightened that the devil would ‘get me’ or I’d be ‘left behind’. I started to go to church and over the years the beautiful simplicity of my love for God changed as I tried to please Him by following all the rules that church laid out for me.

I became a Born Again Believer August 31, 1989 and from then on I did it all…believed it all… witnessed to my ‘unsaved hell bound family’, I was drawn to leadership roles and I served in Music Ministries, worked in a Church for a couple of years, met my nice christian husband in church…everything.

In 2005 with my husband and two kids we walked away from church and have never gone back and have absolutely NO desire to do so again.

For 16 years I devoted my life to the church and in the process lost the essence and beauty of my simple love for God. The more of my life I devoted to the church the more I realized how unhappy and empty I was. I was becoming consistently more alienated from my extended family which was made up of the types of people the church told me to steer clear of… alcoholics, homosexuals, divorced people, non-believers (the list is long). My family had it all and I was convinced to look upon them as lost souls in need of redemption. Not once did the church encourage me to love them by accepting them, I was to love them with conditions. I couldn’t fully accept them until they were saved.

My views changed dramatically when my parents (who drank, smoked and did not attend church) were coming to visit us. Of course, my usual thoughts were to ‘get them to church and maybe they’ll get saved this time.’ But one Sunday while I was listening to the pastor denounce virtually everything that my parents were ~ I thought ‘how can I bring them here and let this man break them this way.’ For me, this was the beginning of the end. (I never brought my parents there).

Now I don’t call myself a Christian, or a Believer, or anything…I just love God, I believe in Jesus and I truly believe that the Spirit of God is alive in me giving me guidance. I believe that not only is the bible a handy book to have around but there are also many people who have come and gone in this world and left behind words of wisdom, encouragement and love. We must be allowed to freely read these words and allow their goodness help us grow in our lives.

I am free now to love people without feeling like I have to have an agenda or judgement over them. I can freely accept all people, even though I may not agree with what they believe or do in their life…this is how I am living my life, how I’m raising my children and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Curious. Why Eve? I’m not making the connection of resignation with Eve. She was presented with an opportunity, crafted a position and took a corresponding action. It’s a hell of a lot more compelling then, “Hey somebody handed me fruit so I ate it.”

I identify with the 3 buckets but in a different order. I did the “work from within” first, managed through the resigned to and then resigned from. I still attend church, am a member, attend some activities if they’re of interest to me and fit in my schedule and make/keep a financial pledge each year. But I’m not trying to fix anything.

When do women get to be part of church without diagnosing, prescribing a remedy that includes them and commiting themselves to the result? How is this not just one more lover/offspring/guest bathroom to whip into shape? Can we go anywhere without a diaper bag and first aid kit?

Though I know the Episcopal Church was male-dominated when I was young, I really don’t remember it too much. In my adult life, I have never been “resigned.” I did leave any kind of involvement with Christianity during college and for about 10 years after that. I re-signed as a church-goer when my kids were little, about 25 years ago, and jumped in the pool with both feet when I entered the ordination process.

Even though I’m in my 50s, I’ve spent the past 5 years or more at least tangentially connected with the emergent movement. I’ve found there is a BIG difference among those involved, depending on whether they are coming at it from the “Evangelical” direction, or from the mainline. I can honestly say that the last two emergent conferences I attended (both within the past three weeks) were extremely affirming of women, including women speakers and worship leaders. That didn’t strike me as unusual, however, because, being a mainliner, that is my daily reality.

Well, Jim, if you’re still interviewing, and looking for a woman from the mainline to speak with, let me know.

Peace,
Becky

All I can say to what you have said – is “ditto”.

thanks, Elaine

But won’t. Because. Ugh. Even visiting the most avant-garde, emergent group she finds that it’s the same-ole, same-ole. It seems like no matter how sincere groups are about thinking outside the box, they can’t get away from Sunday, and Sunday is where the problem starts.