Yep that’s what happens when you press the Say it! button before you enter your name and email.Then when you arrow back the comments are all gone.

Guess I might type up my musings again later …..

I thought Doug was simply being honest when he said he follows Jesus because he got there first.

I think that’s true for a lot of people. How many Christians just before becoming a Christian said “Wait - I need to go check out every other religion first!” Not many, I’m guessing. So they, like Doug, follow Jesus because they got there first.

Learned lots from your folks in the past years. Recently listened to ”
Off The Map Interview with Rob Bell, Todd Hunter, Doug Pagitt, & Sunil Sardar”

I think it was Jim asking the people why they following Jesus. I was shocked, honestly shocked, especially by Doug who follows Jesus because he got their first. Wow that is really sad? What about Jesus being who he said he was, ” I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

Not bad, but not as good as He got their first. That does not have the authority to transform a culture let alone set us free from our sin.

Please, don’t loose the moorings of the TRUTH of Jesus. I know Truth in the emergent world can give off bad vibes, but your gift of helping us to walk in OE will be lost if we don’t lift Jesus to whom he is: “LORD OF ALL”

Bless you

Tim

You rock =)

And

When you say “I love you, but ….”, I feel … distrustful.

And

I see what you mean

And.

I meant to say … that I learned this really kewl helpful technique for deescalating conflict in relationships from Les and Leslie Parrott which is about complaining rather than criticizing. The way it is supposed to work is that when I feel negative emotion toward her, rather than criticizing my super lovely spouse (i.e., “You make me so mad” or “You never ______” or “You always _______” etc.), I ought to (there, I put an oughty should on myself) choose to complain instead. Complaining can be accomplished using the XYZ model: “In situation X, when you do or say Y, I feel Z.”

By the way, the “Z” here, in our household, is to be pronounced in the Australian fashion, “zed”.

Sometimes this leads to a bit of hilarity, if I am feeling very strong negative emotion, accomanied by a generalized inability to put it into words, I will simply say with strong emotion the actual formula to her, including the actual “XY and ZED” rather than filling them in with the situation appropriate words.

I have found this ongoingly and enormously helpful relationally with both my spouse and others.

=)

You said,”You know what I mean, right?”

Yes, he did, didn’t he?

I understand where Benjamin’s coming from. Making negative assertions about other people is very inflammatory. But as you point out “You” statements that are compliments are very affirming. I hope Benjamin is not going to end his delightful practice of posting “You rock!” just because it’s a “you” statement.

I prefer “I agree with you” and “I disagree with you” over “you are right” or “you are wrong” except where I am qualified to use the latter statements, for example, if I am responding to a comment about me. I think those latter statements should be backed up with evidence so they show I have reasons for what I say. Rather than implying I have all knowledge - which is what it implies if I make assertions someone is right or wrong without backing up what I say.

I love you, but you are wrong.

I hate you but you are right.

You are beautiful, I don’t like you though.

You are mean , but I see your point.
Even though I think you are mean, it doesn’t make you wrong.

I must speak out against your teachings, as you have spoken out against my teaching. We may find we are both wrong.I assume the best, that you do it with the same concern as me.

I am YELLING because I am mad.

You are gracious and you lift my spirit.
You said beautiful things.
You did say that?

You said,”You know what I mean, right?”

So can we agree?
love tammy

You know what I mean, right? “I feel ….” “I hear ….” “I am ….” rather than “You did ….” “You said ….” “You are ….” This is especially true when there are some negative emotions going on for people.